by Claybourne Elder
Here's the thing: when Eric and I decided to get married, I was surprised by some of the response. No one questioned whether or not Eric and I were madly in love. At least I hope that was abundantly clear to them. But my then manager, who had been trying to get me to hide my sexuality for fear of it affecting my castability, flat out told me it was a bad idea. My then agents told me that spending any time away from NYC was a bad idea and marrying someone living in Kansas City was detrimental.
Both of these companies fired me.
I could say that there were probably many reasons that they decided to let me go, but no; both made it clear in our final conversation that my family situation was responsible. These are not bad people. I had very meaningful relationships with them. We were friends, and maybe they were right. Not in what they did, which I sometimes still struggle with being angry about. But maybe it did affect my career. Who cares? I sure don't.
I want to tell you this: don't let anyone tell you how to balance your life and career. That doesn't mean run out and get married because that's the only way to prove you have a life. Maybe don't get married! Ever! Just have meaningful relationships with things that require an offering of your time and energy. Maybe that's your plants, or pets, or as Maria Bamford puts it: "a trisexual stranger you met on petfinder.uk."
It's simple to say I'm choosing love over my career. That was easy for me. It's much harder when Broadway calls and asks you to postpone your wedding or miss the birth of your child. But do it then too. There's always going to be another play.